Wasted Daily News

BERLIN (Reuters) – A customer shopping at a discount supermarket store in Germany found stems of a poisonous weed in mixed salad bags, triggering concerns about potential health risks, the store said.

Traces of senecio vulgaris or common groundsel, that can cause extensive liver damage if ingested in large amounts, were discovered by a customer with a specialized knowledge of plants in a Plus store in the northern city of Hanover. Read the rest of this entry →

LONDON (Reuters) – A cluster of UFO sightings over Britain in 1996 may have had more to do with public fascination with TV shows like the “X Files” than extraterrestrial activity, according to files released by the National Archives on Monday.

Documents from the Ministry of Defence (MoD) indicated there were 609 UFO sightings in 1996, compared with 117 in 1995. This coincided with the rise in popularity of the X Files and the release of the alien blockbuster film “Independence Day.” Read the rest of this entry →

In Frankreich scheint Ausnahmezustand zu herrschen. Erst geht die Bevölkerung auf die Barrikaden und nehmen ihre Manager gefangen und jetzt bricht auch noch ihr Präsident zusammen. Die Wirtschaftskrise bringt die Franzosen noch um den Verstand. In Deutschland nutz ganz still und leise ein neues Unternehmen die Krise und expandiert, was das Zeug hält. www.tamundo.de ist eine neues online Auktionshaus, das sich im Internet breit macht und mit wahrlich besonderen Artikeln, wie Überraschungseier aber auch antiquarische Gegenstände höchsten Wertes handelt. Schon bald wird eBay ganz schön ins Schleudern geraten, wenn die Tamundos ihn beim überholen rammen und davon raßen.

I can’t believe someone would win $159 million in the lottery and then give it all away!
He says, “What can I buy with money besides things that I don’t need.” Lottery Winner is giving away 159 Million Dollars – Any Takers?

The moon was full, as full as her eyes, as well as her other quite voluptuous features. He knew he would have her, all of her, leaving not a stone unturned. The deed was done when they became one.

2. Five days had passed, and his tree-like tree lips were itching. Even with fervent effort, he could not abate the sensation. He groaned for his sappy salve-spigot that he could not reach. As the last of the tree-vampires (trampires), he was condemned to spend a static, immobile tree-life struggling with the curse of type-A vaginal mouth herpes. “Noooooo!” he moaned in his deep, earthy baritone tree-voice; realizing the cruel irony of his tree-fate. “God-damn the fleshy succubus, tempting me with the taste of her mortal pleasures.” “No means NO among our kind!”

Chapter 3. She felt longer by the day. Unable to dispel the lingering taste of pine needles, she wondered how long the abomination would fester inside her womb…………

THIS GAMES GONNA BE HOT!!!

Join Jory Jobless in the ultimate battle for money, stature, and success, as he takes on the world trying to find high-paying work! The future looked bleak for this fresh piece of graduated meat, but he wasn’t going to take it lying down. Oh no, he was going to do something about it. And now Jory’s battle robe contains an arsenal of over 20 weapons! (including ball-busters like Music Theory, Logic, Western European Civilization, and the Classic Knife)! Choose wisely and unleash hell upon the competition. Use the all new interactive manipulation contol to create feux-alliances of destruction!Collect charm manna points to summon professors toward your cause before your enemies do! Gain influence among the elite! The more applications and resumes you distribute, the higher your experience points will go! Sleep with your buddy’s girlfriend to depress him, stifle his motivation, and eliminate him from consideration! Careful though! Bang too many GF’s and unruly mobs of angry boyfriends can form quickly! Take potential employers out for drinks, but careful! Drink too much and they might not want to hire you. But get them drunk and watch your success reach sky high!

In came the Stranger. He looked more disheveled. His face looked like he’d seen a thousand lifetimes. And then he spoke the words: “I am child’s daddy.” Dallas could only look the other way, smelling of his gin-soaked alcoholic’s perfume. Something started to stir…in his cup. It was him, he was stirring it.

Chapter Two: Daynights and Nightmoons

Finding yourself is never easy. Especially for Dallas Panhands, born in Reno, he had a habit of hating himself, sometimes physically. Other times, hypothetically. Then came one of the visions. It hit with the hot heat of a thousand summers, squared. His brain hurt, but no more than usual. Like a wrinkle in time, he found himself wanting to disappear. ‘Kill me,’ he said to no one in particular. As always, the absence of God’s cruel hand left him alive, yet empty. ‘Just one more day,’ he thought to himself, ‘and I’ll do it. God give me strength!’ Dallas kissed his wife good morning. His hand groped, grovelled at her chest. The once firm bosom of yesteryear had gone soft, limp, like putty. Deep in her eyes, she thought he knew, he needed the affair.

Chapter 3: The Affair….

The room was dark, and dank, but the mood was alive; tense. INtense. Hot. She was twenty years his elder. What she lacked in youth, she made up for in age. ‘Fondle me with your manhood, Panhands,’ she panted, ‘Slap these old bones! Make me feel young again!” Within your womb I plant this seed. Then I will be done with you. Do not contact me.