Wasted Daily News

The nuclear sun spelled a foreboding omen to the people of Thermodea. Change was abound, singing the air with the nervous energy of bloodfire…in the sky. Chet Irving Feltwell did not feel good at all. Captain of the Decepticon 3rd Brigade, it was his responsibility to lead this randy crew of battle-hardened robots and amateur farmhands. As per custom before every battle, the captain popped so many downers he could hardly see straight. But Cpl. Sadwack didn’t choose him for his life-threatening addictions. He chose him for his instinct, his surefire fortitude, and his complete lack of human emotion. But then something extraordinary happened. Echoing in his ears like a night-whisper, a single word spelled prophecy: Kill. But it was more than that; a deeper kind of kill. Feltwell ignored the voice and grabbed more downers.”Down the throat-hole!” At least it was easier to swallow these days, especially after last night. The veiny skin of his throat masked the mangled ruin of his esophagus. Straddling the picket-fence of overdose, he wavered in and out of consciousness. “Captain,” said Omnibot 1AD Codename: FoxHawk.” Just fine,” responded Chet, “Never been better, Omnibot 1AD Codename: FoxHawk.” Although seeing through a washy haze, he knew the perfect time to strike. He always knew. That’s why he was the best. In a blink his men were off. “Fast bastards,” he thought, as they had already disappeared over the horizon. “Mount!” he cried as Omnibot 1AD Codename: FoxHawk transformed into his default form, a pegasus. Flying at the speed of the gods, he felt the swift winds around him, repeating the ominious whisper: Kill. He recognized the voice. It was…the same voice he had heard a minute ago, also whispering “Kill.” “Damn ear-rot,” he grumbled. “Incoming transmission!” Pegasus 1AD Codename: FoxHawk squawked. “We have been defeated. Fuck. End transmission, sir.” “Damn…missed another one,” he thought. “Come on, old boy, not this time.” he growled to Pegasus 1AD Codename: FoxHawk, “I bet you’re hungry, anyway.” A few more downers and a weeks sleep never felt so good.